apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
