Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
