There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
My vagina is very pro this idea
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
