i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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