I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
