she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
