Is it normal to miss your booty call?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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