And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
