how can u be prego again
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
