New invention idea: vibrating tampons
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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