Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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