sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
