We won't sleep together?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
