idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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