tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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