I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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