Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
