yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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