WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
