after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
it glows. i had to have it.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
