3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
