So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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