I cockslap morals
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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