my soul wont recognize me after tonight
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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