Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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