the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
