Please, let me fuck your mom
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
dude. I can hear the air.
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