Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
