You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
In America we eat man semen.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
