Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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