Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
