Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
