R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
