I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
