it's too hot outside to masturbate.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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