Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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