So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
