i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
