Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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