and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
