My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
