this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
