Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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