Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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