WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
