yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize