Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
