I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
