was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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