if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I think your dad took our porno
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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