I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I am naked and annoyed.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
