I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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